Home Sweet Home Birth? How to Talk with Your Partner When You're At-Odds About Birthing at Home
So you are set on a home birth, but your partner isn’t so sure… this is quite common!
If you’ve found yourself in this scenario, it can be difficult to know where to start with collecting information, synthesizing it in order to be understood and then weighing the pros and cons of your options.
To help get you started, we’ve put together some general questions to consider with your partner.
Is home birth considered to be safe?
The answer depends on your definition of safe. However, home births statistically have outcomes that are the same as the hospital - the rates of maternal and neonatal morbidity and mortality rates are equal to the hospital rates, with fewer cesarean births and higher levels of satisfaction reported.
In fact, home births can have fewer complications than hospital births and many medical professionals even choose the home birth option for their families. If you're working with an experienced professional midwife who's trained in home birth safety, you'll get high-quality care and lots of personal attention. You can review more specific safety statistics here.
Has home birth been a proven method and sustainable option for families in the past?
Historically, birthing at home has been quite common and was the only available option long-before the medical industry of care was established. Think about it - what did every evolution of mankind do for birth before hospitals existed? You guessed it! It was the norm to have babies often surrounded by multiple generations of family, including aunts, grandmothers, sisters and cousins. In many parts of the world, home birth is still more common than hospital births.
Unfortunately, though, home birth isn't well understood in our culture. This may contribute to why it's not as known or as popular in the US today. Some reasons for this may include:
The medicalization of pregnancy, labor, and delivery
Confusion about insurance coverage
Lack of access to qualified midwifery services
Restrictions put on midwives by state and local governments
Inadequate information or education about birthing alternatives
What are some home birth statistics I can share?
Based on one of the most respected home birth studies by the Midwives Alliance of North America (MANA), of around 17,000 planned midwife-led home births:
Only 5.2% of mothers ended up requiring a C-section, which is way less than the US national average of 31%.
Mothers who did a home birth had significantly lower rates of interventions — like epidurals, drugs to induce labor, and episiotomies — and delivered healthy babies safely.
Those with low-risk pregnancies “experienced high rates of normal physiologic birth and very low rates of operative birth and interventions, with no concomitant increase in adverse events.”
There were meaningful cost savings and other benefits associated with the nature and quality of care, safe deliveries, and reduced use of unneeded interventions.
How can you continue to learn more and prepare for a home birth with your partner?
Stay open-minded. People think that having a hospital birth is the default, but it hasn't always been this way. Home births are natural and an everyday occurrence. Furthermore, they're on the rise, up 12% since 1990.
Take a natural childbirth course together. On top of being a great opportunity for bonding, taking a childbirth class together is a terrific way to get loads of information in an easier, more organized fashion. If the course has a live or interactive component to it, you may even be able to ask questions specific to you.
Talk to a certified midwife to get any lingering questions answered. Connecting with an actual midwife can make a huge difference. They can answer questions, address concerns, and walk you through the entire process. You can schedule your consultation with Hamilton here!
Support your partner by making them feel at ease. Actively listen to your partner even if they're not aligned with you at first. Coming to a consensus is often an evolution.
Read the research together. There are tons of home birth studies and reports from reputable sources, like the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the National Institutes of Health (NIH).
Consider additional birth support. A doula is a trained professional who provides comprehensive physical, emotional, and informational support to mothers before, during, and after childbirth. They can help you create a birth plan, provide education and resources about home childbirth, and so much more.
Under your own reason for wanting to birth at home, and discuss that with your partner. If your partner doesn't understand your motivations for home childbirth, they may not realize how important it is to you. Helping your partner get clear on your "whys" — it’s natural, empowering, a beautiful experience, etc. — may win them over.
We hope these ideas get you started with a conversation that is respectful, informative and positive!
Here are some of our favorite additional resources to reference when discussing and learning about home birth:
The Business of Being Born Documentary
Why Not Home? Documentary
The Birthing Instincts Podcast
The Down to Birth Podcast
Evidence Based Birth
The Birth Partner
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth
