The Beautiful Birthing Day for Phuong Kristine Ho and her rainbow baby Asher.

A S H E R - means to be happy. To be blessed. Asher’s birth brought me back to life after experiencing loss. Asher’s birth gave me my dignity and glory after a birth trauma with my second. His birth gave me an adrenaline high that I’ve never experienced in my life. 

I’ve always wanted a home birth. When I found out I was pregnant again …7 months after experiencing a miscarriage, I was more than ecstatic. I knew I had to tell one other person besides my immediate family. My doula Jeanna. I met her during my previous pregnancy that ended at 12 weeks. She prayed with me over the 7 months i was trying to conceive. She texted me constantly to pray over my little family. I knew if I ever got pregnant again Jeanna would be right there. At this time I wasn’t sure I was going to do a homebirth or birth at the hospital. I also had to think …giving birth at a hospital during a pandemic limited how many people could be in the room. I was pretty close to picking Jeanna over the husband. 

I made an appt with my obgyn. And although I loved my dr, I knew homebirth would always be in the back of my head. Because I experienced trauma with Bailey (youngest daughter), I didn’t know if I had it in me to experience that again. I didn’t want to be pricked and probed. I didn’t want to labor on my back and I didn’t want to be silenced by hospital staff on what I can and cannot do.

Halfway during my pregnancy I finally made the decision to switch. Finding a midwife fit for the occasion wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. When I met Hamilton …my heart felt at ease. I wasn’t just another patient in and out of the door. She genuinely cared for my personal birth expectations. She cared for my fears and gave me answers. She calmed the unknown. I came home and told my husband…Hamilton is the one.  I put everything ti preparing mentally, physically and emotionally to this birth. I had been practicing Hypnobirthing for months. I had the perfect birth team who prayed over my birth experience. Who supported my fears and challenged me to trust my body. And the main word here is to surrender. Surrender to the higher being who has his plans. And surrender to my body to do what it’s meant to. 

At 38 weeks in the deep heat of the summer…I was ready. I have had contractions for a week. Or pre-labor. For a week I thought I was going to have this baby. Finally I let go of the anticipation. And told myself he’ll come when he’s ready. We had just finished having dinner and my youngest daughter put her hand on my belly and said “Asher come out already and let’s play.” Our whole family has been in anticipation of him coming any day now. 

After dinner I rested on the couch. And around 9:14pm I heard a pop inside my body. And a sudden leak. I thought to myself I can’t believe this is going to happen. I immediately went to the restroom to double check I wasn’t just thinking things. I then texted Hamilton “remind how I know if my water break?” I’m sure she giggled. But after we confirmed I wasn’t out of my mind, I went ahead and texted my birth team. My sweet husband said “okay game time!”  The girls (Madelyn and Bailey) were super excited. But it was also bedtime. We called my sister in law to help with the girls. I knew when they woke up they’ll be ready to meet Asher. Kevin cleaned up and tidied the home. We got all supplies out and ready.  At this time I wasn’t feeling contractions. Just pressure. I wasn’t sure when the right time to call the birth team over. They said when contractions are 5 mins apart. Since I wasn’t there yet. I continued through my night. I was told to hydrate and rest. But who can rest when I’m about to meet my sweet baby. 

Because this was my third birth…I knew he was going to come fast. Once the house was prepped. My girls were asleep. And I went ahead and told Kevin to rest too. It was going to be a long night. I laid down and slowly the contractions were coming. Every ten minutes or so. I thought I had time. This was around 11 at night. But after an hour or so of resting the contractions were getting stronger. And I was starting to get restless. 

Around 1230am my contractions were 10 minutes apart and lasting 10 seconds. Managing my pain well. I was breathing. Surrendering to my body. My body felt a lot of pressure. And I kept wanting to sit/squat. Around 145am or so the contractions were getting so strong and close around 5 mins apart…so I went ahead and called my birth team to head over. As soon as I got off the phone my contractions went back to back. I paced myself walking around the house. Swaying my body back and forth. Breathing through every contraction. Reading every birth affirmation hanging on my fireplace. Listening to every word of my song  miracles on miracles, count your miracles.  

My husband meanwhile was prepping the birth pool, at one moment I told him this baby was coming and that there was no way our birth team would make it in time.

Asher was coming. With or without them.

I remember standing in the middle of the kitchen. Bent over my island counter. And riding every surge through my body. I knew I was close. Hamilton then came ..it was only 20 minutes after I called her. This is how fast my labor went. She came in and set up everything. Jeanna my doula came and immediately tended to me. Gave words of encouragement. Smiled at me. I was in the right place at the right time. With the right people. 

The pain was getting so strong that Hamilton said I could go ahead and get into the water. As soon as I did …my back labor immediately went away. And the pressure eased. This was the best part …laboring the way my body was meant to. In positions that are easier to allow my body to help Asher make his debut. 

Hamilton came over to check the baby’s heart rate. And told me he’s coming by his heart rate. Jeanna told me to breathe. In my hand I was holding a comb to help with pain. Kevin was by my side holding onto me and whispering words of affirmations to my ears. “You can do it. You’re doing great. You’re strong. We’re going to meet him soon. I love you.” His hands rested on my body supporting me. Letting me know he’s got me and he’s here with me all the way. 

I was moaning and groaning. And I felt Asher right there. Ready to come out. I felt this intense need to push. Hamilton and Jeanna told me to take deep long breathes and let my body push him down.

I was roaring my body to life. I breathed in. And out. I gave way to my body and pushed through the surges.

And one big push and his head came out. I sighed in relief as I held on to Jeanna’s arms. My whole life was resting in her arms while Hamilton was getting ready to help me lift Asher out from the birth pool. Kevin was right beside me. Rubbing my back. And Jeanna told me to breathe, and when I was ready to push again.  I breathed in to give one big push, his body came out and Hamilton caught him. Asher was here. I repositioned myself so I could hold him. My first words were “oh my god,” as I held my son for the first time. And as soon as we heard him cry, I rocked him and told him “it’s okay.” 

I leaned my head against the pool, holding Asher. Thanking god he was here in my arms. And that I finally did it.

I was proud of my body. I was proud of myself. I am so thankful for my birth team. For being right there in the moment and encouraging me. I don’t think I could have had a better birth team. To say I was blessed for this experience is an understatement. God sends the right people into your life for a reason. 

After a little while in the birth pool, Hamilton encouraged me to try and push out the placenta. we then cut the umbilical cord. And got me changed so I could start my postpartum. Jennifer (birth assistant)  and Jeanna got me dressed. Settled onto the couch. Asher was placed on my chest for skin to skin and to try to motivate him to nurse. He latched on very well. And we sat with my birth team. With Kevin. In my living room like we were having a gathering of friends. It was so nice to be in my clothes. In my surrounding. With some amazing people. Hamilton got Asher to do all the newborn screening. Asher was 7 lbs and 3 oz. The biggest of all my babies and only a superficial tear. That in itself is amazing. We finally moved me and Asher to my bedroom. And waited on the girls to wake up to complete our family. Watching their faces look at their brother was the most beautiful moment of peace. 

Writing this brings me to my knees and makes me cry. I had been so careful with sharing my birth story that sharing it now reminded me of what an amazing miracle I had lived through.

People often thought I was crazy. But they’re missing out on an experience of a lifetime.  I will never be able to get this moment back. And I live for it. It is one of my proudest moment. Everything was perfect. It is truly a different birth experience from Baileys. Day and night of a difference. And I don’t think I’ll ever stop advocating for women to talk to midwives and have doulas at their birth. When you’re supported during labor, you’ll radiate a positive birth experience. It doesn’t matter where or how you give birth but having a team of support and being loved makes a world of a difference.

Kristine admiring Asher passing his newborn exam with flying colors

Birth. Without. Fear.

I’m so thankful for my birth team and I don’t think words will ever be enough to tell them what they have done for me. I cannot wait to raise my girls to surrender to their bodies and allowing them to experience miracles. I cannot wait to tell Asher how he came to life. Just like his name …to be happy. To be blessed. And I am. I am all the above. 

**Photography by Mama Bear Birth Stories in conjunction with By Design Birth Doula and the birth team.

The beautiful sunrise taking hold of the world as the birth team finished packing their gear to go, leaving the Ho’s for a perfect big nap!